Let’s get one thing settled right at the start, just love, attraction and commonalities aren’t enough to sustain a marriage, it takes much more than that to make it through the long haul successfully. Here are four secrets to help you stay on track and have a fulfilling marriage.
At the core of your marriage should be a solid friendship. Share with each other, really understand and be there for the other person such that no matter what happens you feel like talking to them about it before anyone else. If they’re your partner it only means that they’re the closest to you, your confidant, your best friend, so work on building that level of comfort, transparency and faith.
Our career, friends, extended family, and children become a part of the list of priorities and it becomes very easy to take our partner for granted in trying to give enough attention to the rest of them. However, your partner is your support system and you won’t go too far if they don’t feel loved and appreciated and withdraw from you or start to resent you. If you get flustered too easily, pick a day of the week when you dedicate the whole day to the needs of your partner and give them your undivided attention, creating a system or routine can be very helpful.
In a marriage, physical intimacy and emotional intimacy go hand in hand. If there’s a gap in one, it cannot be overcompensated by the other. Show affection often and willingly, it’s reassuring and a great way to improve loyalty, mutual appreciation and a general feeling of acceptance. It also alleviates anxiety and is a great way to introduce comfort in being vulnerable with each other. This will take your relationship a long way, keep the love alive and insecurities at bay.
This is the one thing that you hear about with respect to marriage and often introduced in a way that makes it seem like you have to make things work at the expense of your needs. However, that’s not what compromise means. It requires effort from both parties and clear communication. You might have a lot of common goals in life and feel like you’re in sync usually but it is no secret that difficult times and rough patches will show up. Letting your ego take the front seat in such a situation will only worsen matters. Be a good listener, empathise and try to work on something that benefits both of you.
Your marriage shouldn’t feel like hard work, if you put in some effort every day it’ll be smooth sailing for you and your partner. Be self aware and remember that when a conversation is difficult, it’s mostly always worth having.